Well jack they say time heals all imo it doesn't heal all it just gives you enough space to cope. Jack i wish i could help you the way you have me threw this learing experience. But all i can give is advice and a shoulder to lean on at any time you feel you need someone to talk to or just listen just email me jack and I'll send you my number. Because i have nothing but the utmost respect for you jack. So how ever i can help please let me know!