Jack while I hate to hear about this I do think you guys may want to have a sit down conversation about what you are doing and why you are doing it. But remember the voices must not be raised or no one should seemed controlled. Just open honest comms about the benefit of the work your doing for the both of you. I don't know her side but I will tell you that it sounds as if she has some issues with abandonment. If this is the case this is something you cannot fix for her she has to seek the help needed to get this issues out on the table and delt with. I think I told you before that on wednesday nights I run a mens group and we go over these issues every week. So you are not alone in this battle.