What Is It About Women and Attention?

[Officially Retired]

Brother, you make MANY valid points! Now, without knowing her side--YES, there are always two sides...LOL--I can only say that before you make any rash decisions ask yourself: what would it be like to live WITHOUT her and, maybe, you might get closer to the answer you seek.

Actually, I am not the one making rash decisions, she is the one who has made the rash decision to move out and do her own thing, which may well be the best choice for her. I have to face the fact that this might really be the best move for her; just as I believe sticking to my guns and finishing my projects is the best move for me.

As for being alone, I lived alone for over over 10 years between the last really serious relationship and this one, and to be honest in many ways I prefer the simplicity of it. However, in other ways I will feel the loss, but again it is not my decision it is hers. I am just doing what I am doing; she is making the decision my lack of attention to her during this time is insufficient to meet her needs. I am fully aware that her point is valid for her, just as my point is valid for me. Again, tough choices.

Relationships, unfortunately, are like the international realm of politics...it's day by day...basically, the same two countries who are in bed with each other today, are bombing each other tommorow. The toughest part about a relationship is that compromises will be made, however, there is always that fine line where one either decides to sacrifice one's own happiness (in certain percentages) to make the other person happy, nonetheless, the big problem is recognizing when that sacrifice is at the cost of your OWN happiness. Most people get mad at me when I ask them: Do you love yourself more than her? Why, because this is what it takes to truly be honest when it comes to the sacrifices a relationship calls for!

You are absolutely right, and that is the problem in her eyes: my goals in life come first. Period. I would rather live my life without her (or anyone) than live my life with what I want to accomplish unfulfilled. I am willing to make compromises on minor details, but I would never in a million years compromise what I want to achieve just to make someone "happy," at the expense of my own. As with dogs, success in life has to do with selection, and I would rather her be behind me (rather than in my way), or I would rather select someone else as my spouse, who would be more understanding of the colossal amount of work I need to get done ... and how it will really pay dividends in the future.

I myself would never get in her way, if she were working really hard on a project. I would simply understand that "that's the way it has to be for now," and that both of our lives will be better off, when her project is complete.

I truly hope it works out for you and communication can solve these issues for you, remember, this maybe a minor skirmish, perhaps it will blow over with diplomacy (communication), but remember when the deal is off...it's over, and sometimes with women...there is no turning back. It sounds like you are really happy with her, it's just at this moment both of your personal interests are conflicting...

Well said. We have been really happy together, but she is just feeling unfulfilled during this intensive period. I understand and sympathize, but I am not changing anything ... because the long term value of what I am doing is too great. Quite frankly, while I do understand her point, I feel it is very immature and selfish ... and it also lacks long-term perspective. I feel she should understand the adage, "Sacrifice today so that tomorrow will be better than it ever has been."

And this is why we truly love are Dogs...unconditional love...without having to sacrifice our own happiness back to them. Imagine if all you needed to do was the clicking noise and the ol' clap of the hands to solve relationship issues with women...LMAO!
Best wishes!

LOL, so true, as the saying goes, "The later you come home, the happier your dogs are to see you."

Cheers,

Jack